Saturday, March 12, 2011

4/08/04-12/04/03 - Blast from the Past - Stacy`s Diary

(Oldest Post on Bottom - Newest Post on Top)

April 8, 2004
April is starting off really busy. The 1st week was Superheroine week. I shot a new installment of Daisy Chain directed by DC Comic artist George Perez & created for Double Trouble Wrestling. That was a 2-day shoot, and then the next day I shot a new episode of Crimson Hawk (in which I play Crimson Hawk) for Alex, the creator.
Last weekend was Hugh Hefner`s birthday party that was held at the Playboy Mansion. I always have sooo much fun at his parties! So many cool people were there. I got to talk to Heidi, Nick and Bill of the Donald Trump TV Show The Apprentice. I love that show!! I had so many Jell-O Shooters, those are my favorite!! I talked to Joey Fatone from the band In-Sync. It was good to him again. He is doing so well, he has more upcoming acting roles coming up.
I worked all this week on the TV Show Las Vegas, Monday, Tuesday & Thursday, all over 14-hour days. I usually get up at 3am, get to the set at 6am and get home around 10pm. It is hard work, but I like working that show. It is nice going to the same set, knowing how the day will usually go; knowing & liking the people you work with. I just bring a bunch of stuff to do since I know I will be there at least 12 hours or more. I sometimes bring a sleeping bag so l can take a nap. There is a lot of ‘down time’ waiting in-between scenes. I wish I had a laptop computer so I could do my on-line work and email while I am there.
This weekend will also be a busy weekend. Friday April 9th is Hef`s real birthday. He is having his annual Casablanca Night that night. He turns the mansion into Rick’s Place. We all dress up in upscale 1930`s fashion, he dresses up like Rick (played by Bogart in the movie) in a white tux, we all have a grand Dinner, have Champaign then watch the Movie Casablanca. It is really fun!
Sunday is Easter. Hef has a complete petting Zoo in the backyard. He has an Easter egg hunt for the kids; winner gets some really cool & expensive prizes. There are popcorn, hamburger, hotdog, ice cream & pretzel stands. A bunch of people come over; have a great Easter Dinner after the afternoon fun and we all watch a first run movie. The movie this Sunday is HellBoy! Hehehe, I think the kids helped pick that one!

Oxox, Stacy

April 1, 2004
I thought I would share a few things I learned on the internet…….
Weird Sex Laws (I only wish these were an April Fool`s Joke. But no, these are true!)
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This Also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Wonder which head?)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in Tropical fish stores.
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines, with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
….until Next Week

oxoxox, Stacy

March 25, 2004
I did not make it to The San Francisco Fetish Ball last weekend. My carpool buddy cancelled out and it was too close to the wire to book a flight without paying outrageous fees. It would have been nice, l wish I could have made it, but sometimes things do not go as planned.
I have been doing a lot of mainstream TV work. I am getting up at 3am for 6am call times and working 12-16 hours a day. I also have a pretty full fetish shoot schedule as well. I am scheduled to shoot with George Perez of DC Comics and Double Trouble this week. I am playing the part of Superheroine Daisy Chain. I am also booked to play the Superheroine Crimson Hawk later this week as well.
I am working almost everyday on something. I try to not have a day off, if I could help it. I love being busy, but I don’t know how long I will be able to maintain these hours. We will see. Exhaustion seems to suit me.

xoxo, Stacy

March 18, 2004
I am scheduled to perform at the San Francisco Fetish Ball this Saturday March 20th. I was planning on carpooling up there on Friday after my wrestling match, do the show on Saturday then drive back home on Sunday. My carpool buddy is having trouble and might not make it. I do not want to make that long drive all on my own without knowing the area, where to go and dealing with the infamous San Francisco street & parking issues. It is too late to get a plane ticket without paying outrageous fees. I just may have to cancel my performance & trip to San Francisco. I hate disappointing people and canceling out on the show, but I do not know what else to do.
Most of the time the venue organizes my trip. The rest of my scheduled appearances should be fine. I am pre-booked on most of them.

xoxo, Stacy

March 11, 2004
I just got back from the Texas Latex Party in Houston Texas. How was it, you ask? The hotel was under construction, I woke up to jack hammers at 8am, we had no water in the whole hotel from 12noon-5pm everyday, there was no gift shop, no snack shop, service sucked, l missed my plane, my next flight was delayed, l spent way too much on LAX parking lot fees, mega shuttle fees, the shuttle was 1/2 hour late both times, since l was late on my 1st flight going out, my flight coming back had an error so l had to wait, board last, lost my seat l bought in the 1st place, had to sit in back of plane, could not recline my seat as much, so lack of sleep big time, could not find my car in the maze of LAX parking lot hell, my bank account is now overdrawn by $300- due to un-expected fees, my paychecks are delayed because of a manager paperwork glitch, so l cannot fix my overdraft problems for a few days, until then l am being charged mega bucks in overdraft fees.....other than that, l had a blast!! :-/
I really did have a great time aside from all that. I am still over drawn due to a major delay in my paychecks. It seems that my paychecks have been sent to my agent. No big deal, I will get them eventually. He is sending them out to me later this week, but in the meantime, it is costing me major dough in overdraft fees until I receive them & have a chance to deposit them.
As soon as I got back, my schedule filled up fast. I worked on the TV Show CSI Miami yesterday. I played a News Reporter at the scene of the crime. The Episode is called The Oath, incase you want to catch it. Later today, I am schedule to work on the TV Show The OC. I am not sure what I will be doing yet, but I will keep you informed.
Next Stop is The San Francisco Fetish Ball on Saturday March 20th , as well as many wrestling and fetish shoots in between.
It looks like I will be busy saving the world the end of March! I am scheduled to work with George Perez of DC Comics at the end of this month. It seems Daisy Chain will be returning at your local fetish video store & site! I am also schedule to return as the Superheroine Crimson Hawk the 1st of next month. The world will be a very safe place by April 2004!!
B.T.W. Please Vote for me @
- your support will be appreciated!! :-)

Oxox, Stacy

March 5, 2004
Last week while on set of a Music Video, my booking agent called me about a Toyota Commercial Audition. I laughed when he said they were looking for an all American, wholesome, girl next-door type. I thought, no way will I get this job; I am so not the girl next door. I had some extra time in-between shoots that day, so I went on the audition. I went on my way afterward thinking, no way will they pick me, but oh well, at least I tried. I was shocked and extremely excited when I received a phone message stating I got the job and we will be shooting on Wednesday, the day before I leave for Texas! WOW, how cool!! How perfect the shoot date was. I jumped for joy over & over! I screamed in excitement! Oh my god, this is big, I will get residuals from this! I was soooo happy!! I shared my news with a few friends. In the back of my mind, I was thinking, hold on, calm down and don 217;t believe it until it is over. I was right to feel that way.
My booking agent called me today. He said the Toyota people studied my resume and noticed my email address was at They decided to check out my site. After viewing it, they thought it would be best to take me out of the commercial! I am soooo devastated! Yet again, I am knocked out of something I have been working for and waiting for all of my life! I could understand if I said my name in the ad or if I had some speaking part, but I was just booked as a cheerleader, cheering on a Toyota car. Just a blurry face shown probably just for a second or two. I am so depressed right now. What am I suppose to do, give up auditioning and working mainstream jobs? All I am trying to do is survive here, doing what I know how to do. I love fetish modeling and I am not ashamed of it, but I cannot rely on it to pay all of my bills. I must try out for & work mainstream stuff as well. I feel as if I am condemned for life!
My booking agent says I might have to audition and work mainstream gigs using a different name. Man, that’s a lot of work and that would be very confusing in the long run. I mean, how do I know which identity to use for each project? What if I screw up and mess it all up? Ah, I am sooo bummed out right now. I feel every time I take 3 struggling steps forward, I am kicked, knocked, pushed & d ragged back 4 steps.
I know I will get over it eventually, but man, what a downer!!

Oxox, Stacy (or whatever my name is)

February 26, 2004
I am working 6 days again this week. I am shooting a lot, appearing at a lot of events & conventions and I am doing TV & Film work. Last week I worked on the TV Show CSI Miami & Las Vegas. This week I am shooting a Budweiser Beer Commercial, as well as shooting a lot of Fetish Videos. Next week, I will be in Texas for the annual Texas Latex Party. I am also planning on attending many more Foot Parties. I had such a great time at the last one. Keep watching my Current Events Section for more Cool Events coming up that you are invited to!
I also had to run my cat, Johnny Cat, to the vet. He was not eating, which is bad for a cat. He lost 3 pounds. The Doctor gave him some anti-botics and I gave him some Laxatone and he seems better now. He must have had a little obstruction somewhere. It was pretty traumatic for me. He is my baby boy. I have had him for 12 years. He has been with me through good and bad times. I told him he must live to at least 20 years old and when the time does come, that we all meet (Johnny Cat, Kaiko & Bear) up in heaven and live on the same cloud!

February 19, 2004
I love thi s new re juvena t ed energy that I have been feeling lately. I have been working non-stop and I am doing and getting more done. I feel and act like a teenager and I am loving every minute of it.
I only have a few hours before I gotta go to bed so I can leave early yet again to go to work. I have so much to say, but time is ticking against me. I guess I will have to go into more detail next week. So until then goodnight my sweets, sweet dreams & I love you!

Oxox, Stacy

February 12, 2004
That song ‘I think I love you’ from the 1970`s TV Show, The Partridge Family keeps running through my mind. You see, I met David Cassidy, the teenage star from that show, at the Playboy Mansion last week. I didn’t sing it in front of him, I played it cool, but it kept running through my mind. He is really nice. I got to meet his half brother, I think his name is Keith or James. His brother works on The Bernie Mac Show. I also got to meet the real Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, but without her make-up. She is so pretty and young. If she walked down the street, you would never know it was Elvira. She is a really hot redhead in real life.
It has been a super busy week this week. I worked every day this week without a day off! I am doing much more TV work. I am a dancer on a Latino music video show called The Drop, which will air, on a New Cable station coming out on Feb. 25th. I will also be on Latino Laugh on the same cable channel. I am taping an episode of The Bernie Mac Show tomorrow. No, I didn’t get the job from David Cassidy’s brother. My Agent got it for me.
I heard my movie called Bikini-a-go-go (also known as The Curse of the Erotic Tiki) is currently being shown on PPV Cable TV. I have not been home enough to check it out. I can’t wait until it comes out on DVD!!
You have to checkout my PPV Section. I just added a TON of Photo Sets, it is Marjory Updated!!! I am shooting so much that you know a bunch more cool stuff is coming your way!! 2004 is going to Rock the House here at and you have VIP Front Row Seats!!!! Oh yeah!!!!!!
Well, I better go. I have to leave to go to work in the morning before 5am! Damn, I love being busy!!!
I wish all of you a Loving Valentine’s Day!!! *Smooches*

Oxox, Stacy

February 05, 2004
Day 3 and counting of being secluded and organizing my house. I went to Target a few days ago and got a bunch of plastic containers. I took everything out of both my bedrooms and dumped it in my living room. Piece by piece, item by item I am going through, organizing, throwing out or selling (the new un-used items) the things I do not want or have room for. I am about half way through and I think I need to get more containers. I do not think I have a bunch of stuff, but at the same time I am seeing these 25-gallon plastic containers filling & stacking up with no end in sight.
I can’t wait until my house is all organized and clean. So far, it has taken me 3 days just to do my bedroom! However, that is where most of my stuff is. I think the rest of the house will be easier. Oh, well, maybe not my office, that will take a bit of time, but not as much as my bedrooms.
It is amazing how much better you feel when you are organized. I can actually go out do a shoot, errands, or just go out for fun without the guilt of knowing I should be home cleaning & organizing. It is also a great feeling waking up and seeing everything bright, clean and organized. It makes you feel accomplished, energized and ready to take on the day. It also takes less time to get ready. I just got to train myself to empty my shoot/travel bag items & put them away every time I come home instead of leaving them in the bag & throwing my bag in my room, only to fill up another bag for the next shoot or travel and doing the same thing. You can tell by that pattern, that l end up with a bunch of full bags all over the room and not being able to find certain items because they happen to be in one of the many mystery bags.
Yes, Spring Cleaning came, deservingly, a bit early for me!

Oxox, Stacy

January 29, 2004
Boy, am I exhausted! I had a busy shoot week this week. I also worked 13 hours a day for 2 days o n a movie set. I am playing a Stripper in the Upcoming Movie called Hyde, a modern day tale of Jeykell & Hyde. It looks like it will be really good! I got to watch a few of the stunts and got to see Jeykell and Hyde (the same actor, but with scary make-up).
I was suppost to shoot the same 2 days (also playing a stripper, see a theme here? Umm, talk about type-casting) on the TV Show Las Vegas. I was told that I needed to call and confirm 1st. I called the number they gave me over and over, but it would just ring and ring with no answering machine. I then got a call from my manager on the same night asking me if I wanted to work the Jeykell Movie, it would be a rush call, since she called me at 8pm and I was to be on set by 6am. I took the job, since I could not reach the person in charge of the TV Show Las Vegas shoot.
All went well, but when I got home I had some angry messages on my machine from the crew of the TV Show Las Vegas, they were mad at me & wondering why I did not show up on set. I called the number they left for me and the lady that booked me answered the phone. I told the lady, who booked me in the 1st place, what happened. I told her I never got through to confirm the shoot. The phone would just ring and ring with no answering machine. I was offered another shoot at the last minute and took it since I could not get through. She apologized stating she was in hot water as well. She left work early that day to care for her daughter who had an incident at her school. She said she lied to her boss and told him that she personally talked to everyone and everyone confirmed the shoot. She said her boss wanted to suspend me from working with their company for not showing up. She said she would talk him out of it and get me some cool gigs if I covered her butt and if he ever ask me what happened to tell him I got an emergency call back on a previous shoot and I did not have his number on hand to call to cancel. I agreed. I hope I did the right thing. I hate having a negative mark on my record, but I would hate to be re sponsible for having her lose her job. In time, hopefully soon, we will see if she comes through and books me on some cool gigs.

Oxox, Stacy

January 22, 2004
So far 2004 has been pretty good. I have this energetic feeling of a new and refreshed start. It feels like spring is in the air, even though Spring is still 2 months away. I have a burst of energy. I feel very optimistic and I feel like trying new things.
I do not know why I feel this way.
My 1 bad neighbor has moved out and my neighborhood has once again restored itself to the Mayberry Beach community it once was, that may have something to do with this feeling of walking on air. Everyone seems so much happier, everyone is outside, talking, walking enjoying the outdoors without the fear of a drunken abusive guy with a chip on his shoulder looking for someone to blame for his misfortune.
However, I think that cannot be the only reason for my feeling of being reborn. I do not want to analyze it too much; I just want to enjoy this new upbeat feeling of euphoria.
In the meantime enjoy a few Funnies (below) that someone sent me, Thanks Dave!

Oxox, Stacy
Cannibal: A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.
(Jack Benny)
Drill Sergeant: An Army dentist.
Sex: An emotion in motion. (Mae West)
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A tearjerker.
What a pear we'll be!
Lettuce marry. That's if you
Carrot all for me.

January 15, 2004
I just got back from an exhausting trip to Vegas for BondCon. The show was surprisingly busy. The famous Las Vegas Magicians Penn & Teller stopped by yet again; they alway s stop by, those perverts, hehehe. I really love doing conventions, I wish they were held more often & a bit more profitable so I could do them more. At the same time, I do miss my home and my kitties. I guess that is why I like conventions, they only last 3-4 days, I get to travel, meet people, but get home soon enough to avoid to much home-sickness.
I am glad the holidays and BondCon is over. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the holidays, I really do. In fact I tend to go a little overboard on them. It was a very busy, but at the same time slow time. Those 2-3 weeks during the holidays, hardly anyone is shooting, so work is a bit slow. It is hard to contact people & book stuff in advance for after the holidays as well, since everyone is busy. I was busy, not work-wise, but with buying, wrapping, decorating and all the other normal holiday chores.
Then as soon as the New Year hits and everyone else gets to start back on track on getting their normal lives in order, I had to pack up for a week away. I met a lot of cool people, made a lot of great connections, gathered a lot of great webmaster/website information & ideas and booked a lot of futu re shoots. When I got back, I had little time to do anything. I finally got to sleep, during the convention I had a bout of insomnia, I think that was the main reason for my exhaustion. The next day from being back, I had 3 shoots. Today, Thursday is the 1st day since the holidays, 15 days ago, that I have a chance to somewhat get things in order. I still have my luggage all packed up in my car. I still need to unpack them, and then pack again for my normal weekend stay at the Playboy Mansion. Today I must clean my house, do laundry, mail out my overdue late bills, get back to exercising, wash my car, un-pack, re-pack, update this site, etc, etc.
Enough of my complaining, I am sure you have a ton of stuff to do as well. We all do, after all the fun & relaxation of the holidays are over.
Oxox, Stacy

January 8, 2004
I am writing these Words on Tuesday Jan. 6th. I will be leaving on Wednesday Jan. 7th for Las Vegas to attend the 2nd annual BondCon (Bondage Convention). I will be at t he Fetish-Realm Booth, incase you wanted to come by and say ‘Hi’ J
The city looks so dark now without those beautiful holiday light decorations everywhere. It will take some getting used to. However, I won’t be in the darkness for long, after all I am headed to the brightest city of all!
I saw some pretty great movies at the Mansion recently. Every Sunday Hugh Hefner runs recent movies on Sunday nights. Last night was Cold Mountain. I recommend that to the true romantic at heart. It is a very well made movie. I know I shed a few tears. Nicole Kidman and Renee Zelweiger not only look flawlessly beautiful, but they really pull off Oscar worthy performances that will sure be present at the upcoming award show.
Stuck on You, staring Greg Kenner and Matt Damen really surprised me. I thought it would be just a small dumb slapstick movie, but it is more than that. It is well made and it is a great brother relationship movie with very funny but very touching moments in it.
Big Fish is a wonderful father and son movie. It is brilliantly done, highly imaginative and very touching and inspiring.
Something Got to Give staring Jack Nicho lson and Diane Keaton is a true-life romance tale. It is way different than the normal male, female romantic movie screenplay. I think everyone can relate to this movie. I saw a lot of myself in Diane Keaton`s character. It is very realistically funny as well touchingly thought provoking.
I am having some email trouble, so if you need to contact me, try using my other email address: - however l will not be checking, replying or reachable until Monday Jan. 12th. If you have any web-site trouble, contact my web-guy: - but only if it is an urgent problem. We don’t want to pester him too much, after all, that is MY job, hehhehheh ;-)

Oxox, Stacy

January 1, 2004
I am Vegas Bound (pardon the pun) next week, from Jan.8th-11th attending BondCon appearing in the Fetish-Realm booth. So if you are out that way, stop in and say hello!
I will soo n resume our LIVE Web-cam Chats. I just need to have the Live Fetish Girls work out the details. Help me light a fire under their butts by emailing them &/or calling them and asking when our Special LIVE Chats will start. I am just as anxious as you guys are, if not more. I love our LIVE Web-cam Chats, we have soooo much fun, the time just flies by!!!! I have soooo many ideas in my head to add to our little pow-wows!!
I am sitting here full on junk food and slightly hung over from Playboy` 50th Anniversary New Years Party. I wish I could go into detail and write a lot, but it hurts to sit up straight to long. I need to lay down, lol.
I Love you guys and I wish you all a very Groovy, healthy, happy, profitable and productive 2004!!!

December 25, 20 03
I am writing these words on Tuesday Dec. 23rd. I have my presents all wrapped and put into huge trash bags and ready to load into the car to take to my family in the morning. 1st stop is my grandmother’s house to deliver the family’s gifts to distribute later. Then off to the Mansion and unload 2 big trash bags of gifts up in my room to dist ribute through out the week. I still have not taken a walk to see the neighborhoods holiday lights. Hopefully they will still be up for viewing on Monday or Tuesday night.
I got a disturbing email last night. It seems that one of my friends who was also a talented photographer, rigger and web-designer known as Mr. T, Cory to the rest of us has died on the 22nd. It is too early, disturbing and private to get into the details, but lets just say it didn’t have to happen. I just hope he has at last found the happiness & peacefulness that he was looking for. The ones that knew him are very sad & he will be missed. I have posted one of the last sets that he had updated recently on his site. As you can see by the photos, he was very talented.

Wishing you and yours the very best & the warmest wishes, Happy Holidays!

Oxox, Stacy

December 18, 2003
Sitting here, drinking my coffee with a dash of egg nog, looking at all the shopping bags and procrastinating on wrapping them up. I got to do it tonight, or at least get most of it done. The neighborhood looks so festive. I might go out for a walk tonight to see more of it. Maybe that will help light a fire under my butt to get them presents done.
I am still feeling a bit under the weather, but I do think I am starting to get better. 3 weeks ago my allergies were acting up big time. I thought that is what it was, but I also have this annoying congested cough for the past 2 weeks, so maybe it turned into a cold. I have not felt like exercising for these past 3 weeks either. All I want to do is sleep and eat. However today, I finally took a _ hour run. I can`t tell you that it felt good, but hopefully that fresh air will flush that congested air out of my system.
I thought I would share with you some Holiday Tips that I received via email, enjoy!
Wishing you all a Very Happy Holiday!!!
Oxox, Stacy
The holiday season is a time to enjoy family dinners, office parties, and get-togethers with friends. Festive drinks and tasty punches often contribute to the holiday revelry, so here are some tips to help you celebrate sensibly:
* If you are a woman, remember: Women are more sensitive to the effects of alcohol. If you are a man, remember: Women are more sensitive to the effects of alcohol.
* Always drink from the bottle labeled "XXX." The bottle with the skull-and-crossbones on the front is poison.
* Drinking alone is a telltale sign that you know better than to put up with anybody's bullshit.
* Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible.
* If someone you know is too drunk to drive, demand that he let you have his car keys. If he refuses, pull out a gun and demand the car keys again. This also works with people who are not drunk, and whom you do not know.
* Nev er drink with Tyler Schneeklov.
* While standing in the middle of the road at 3 a.m. yelling expletives at your ex-girlfriend, wear light-colored clothing so motorists can see you.
* Once you get married and have kids, stop drinking tons of whiskey and switch to drinking tons of wine.
* Always re-cap your flask between swigs. This lengthens the amount of time between d rinks.
* Don't mix alcohol with stereotypes. If you are Irish, drink whiskey. If you are a pirate, drink rum.
* Don't drink and drive. Disregard this if you happen to be one of those people who drive better drunk.
* If you suddenly find yourself impaired by alcohol, prevent any social awkwardness by informing all those present that you profoundly love them, and that you never get this drunk.
* Never use alcohol to escape feelings of failure and loneliness. Use Vicodin.
* Before heading out to the office holiday party, tape a handcuff key to the inside of your watchband. Just trust us on this one ;-)

December 11, 2003
To strengthen the theory ‘When it Rains, it Pours’, after I wrote out last weeks Stacy’s Words I went to do some errands. I had to go to the ATM to deposit some money into my account to cover some bills. I put my card into the machine and the ATM froze. Nothing, none of the buttons worked, but what is worse is it would not spit my ATM card back out. Luckily it froze before I put my money in, but it still had my ATM card! I didn’t want to walk away from it in fear of someone would use the same ATM and my card would spit back out (which had happened to me before) or in fear of someone accidentally withdrawing money from my account. I fortunately had my cell phone, so I called my bank branch for some possible help. A man answered the phone that sounded like a high school kid. I explained what happened and my concern for walking away from the ATM. He proceeded to tell me to give up, my card is gone and any transaction is cancelled. I told him I needed to cancel my old ATM card and for him to send me a New ATM card ASAP, since it was the holiday season and I had a lot of shopping and hopefully depositing to do without the hassle of going all the way t o my branch to do it.
You can probably guess that I was pretty stressed during this call and very upset. He talked in a very monotone voice and proceeded to give me a lesson in life. He kept telling me this kind of stuff happens, life throws us unexpected curves and told me a few stories of his own that he thought were similar to mine, which they were not, they w ere very trivial. This just made me madder, de-valuing the loss of my ATM card at a crucial time into a trivial annoying life-learning curve! I know by looking back on it, it is just that, but not at that moment. At that moment it is the world caving in on you and this guy on the phone patronizing you, at that very moment, just makes it worse!
Later at home, I was going through my purse and noticed that my Drivers License was gone. I had it placed next to my now missing ATM card. Eureka! I now know why the ATM machine mal-functioned! My drivers’ license must have been stuck to the bottom of my ATM card and that is what made it freeze! This time instead of calling my bank branch (I did not want to talk to the ‘Cool-hand-Luke’ again), I called the 800 main bank info line. This time I got a very understanding empathetic woman. I told her what happened and asked her when they empty that ATM out, if they find a Drivers license if they could send it back to me. She told me she wished that was possible but once the ATM machine takes your card, it sheds it up, so my ATM card & Drivers License were both destroyed, really honestly gone.
Okay, one small errand turned into one more all day obstacle. I now had to get a new Drivers license. I went online hoping I could just fill out a form and they will send me a new one. Nope, you must go to the DMV in person. I saw that you can make an appointment on-line to save time, but guess what? Hehehe, yep, that was not working either. Either the appointments were all booked up or the site was having trouble locating an available appointment date for me.
Oh yes, when it rains, it not only pours, sometimes it turns into a Blizzard!!

Oxox, Stacy

December 04, 2003
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Actually I have been feeling this way for a while. I seemed to let my finances get away from me. When I was younger I did the same thing, but I thought I had learned better by now. In fact for several years everything was great. I invested a bit and was making way more then my monthly bills. I am working the same if not harder. My bills are a bit higher due to rent increases and the normal price increase of everyday th ings. The only thing different is the pay has been lower. It took awhile, but doing the math, lower income plus higher bills equals financial strain. I thought, the income will get better, I though it was just a lull, so I foolishly maintained my spending. Which is not as bad as most girls, but it still was on things I could have done without. I think (hope) I am slowly and painfully pulling myself out of it. It just snowballed into a big problem. Having late fees just added to the problem. Every time I go 4 spaces forward, it seems I go back 3 spaces due to late fees or some unexpected bill that comes up. I will do something that I think will be profitable and it will end up either costing me money instead. I am doing what I did not want to do; I am dipping into my fastly decreasing savings account. Pretty soon, that will not save me any more. Working for someone is not an option. 1st of all it does not pay me what I need to get out of debt. 2nd, I need to keep my schedule somewhat clear for late notice shoots that come up, that usually do. I cannot be strapped down to a strict schedule, no pun intended ;-)
Buying Christmas presents really hits hard. I see great gifts I want to buy my loved ones, but I am forced to by less expensive, 2nd choice gifts. I am not giving what I truly want to. I hope they understand. In fact, I know they will, I just miss those years of giving really cool gifts that I knew they actually would use and love.
On a better note, I have a busy year ahead of me. I do not know if it will be a financial benefit, but I seem to have a new Convention in a different city/state every month starting next month! I know I am responsible for my own problems and I have the power to pull myself out of it and make everything better. I guess my problem is I cannot afford any more wrong decisions and I am scared that my next move to hopefully gain financial freedom will just make things worse.
All in all, I feel lucky. A lot of people have it worse off than me. If I put my mind to it, I can get back on tract in a few months, in which I intend to do.

Oxox, Stacy

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