(Bridget Marquardt, Me and Nick Carpenter @ The Long Beach Grand Prix April 21st 2013)
Friday Night, Hubby and I out at our favorite watering hole
with friends. There is a lull in the conversation, my phone is buried
in my purse that is hooked on the table beneath me, so I ask my hubby if
I could borrow his phone to browse the internet. He says sure, so I
phone, press the browser icon and it takes me to the last web page that
he was at...... F@#&Mates.com!!! At first I was a bit shocked, but paid
no real mind to it right away, I just tried to get out of the site by
pressing the back button,
but it kept going to different pages of the site. Roy noticed that I
was frantically pressing the buttons, so he asked me what was wrong. I
showed him what was on his phone and told him that I just want to get
this site. He looked at his phone and freaked out. He kept saying 'I
don`t know how this got on my phone, I must have clicked a pop up, oh
no, I hope I do not have a Virus!' I wanted to believe him, But I know
how things work and it is Very un-likely that it was a mistake. I would
not care if it was just Porn, but looking up the site later, I found out
that it is a 'Hook-up Site for people in your area. I was Hurt,
Confused a bit Sad, but I was not Mad. I was only getting mad after he
kept trying to deny that he was the one who looked it up on his phone.
He was protesting that it somehow got on his phone without his consent.
though I was not believing him, I was not Mad, however I was getting
annoyed that he kept trying to deny it and kept bringing it up and he
was very upset. I told him to drop the subject and lets just have fun
tonight, in which we did.
The Next Morning we had plans to go to our friends house for his birthday, all meet up with other friends there and then all to
go to the Toyota Grand Prix Races together and celebrate our friends
Birthday, I awoke early like always, did my morning Chores and my hubby
decided to bring up the phone thing again. He had a bit of an attitude,
barking at me, asking me where his sunglasses were, etc. Usually I would
go get his sunglasses for him, but I was in the middle of something, so
I told him where they were so he can get them himself. He asked me
again, if I believed him that he did not look up that site on his phone
and I honestly said, No, I did not believe him, but I really didn`t care if it was true or not. He then just walked out
the door, saying nothing.
We were suppose to meet up at a friends
house at a certain time and all head out together to go to the Long
Beach Grand Prix. It soon became that time and my hubby was still gone,
so I decided to go on my own so I would not be late. When I walked into
our friends house, I saw my hubby was already there. He actually left me
at home and went on his own without
me! I had the option to do two things, #1. Get upset, creating a scene and ruining
the day for others -or #2. Do what he wishes, which was to be left
alone, enjoy the day, have fun and not let it ruin the day for anybody. I
choose to do the latter. I left my hubby alone, talked to everyone else
and had a wonderful time at the Grand Prix.
At the end of the day
we all met up at our favorite watering hole. Still my hubby was ignoring
me, so I let it be and just continued to enjoy myself with others.
After awhile, it was getting late and I decided to call it a night and
went home. My hubby stayed out until the early morning hours. In fact he
did not even come to bed when he got home, he slept in his Man Cave.
morning, Sunday, I awoke early like always, did my chores and waited for
my girl friend to be ready so we can go again to the Grand Prix. We
wanted to go again, just her and I and not with the big group, so we can
easily walk around everywhere the
places we missed the day before. My hubby awoke later, but still was
ignoring me. I just allowed it and when my friend was ready, I headed
out the door. We had another exhausting but great day. I even ran into my old friend, my maid of honor, fellow Playboy Hugh Hefner ex-Girlfriend and star of E! Girls Next Door, Bridget Marquardt & her beau Nick Carpenter in the Marco Andretti pit!! After the races, I
dropped my very tired friend off at home and went to stop for a
couple beers at our favorite watering hole.
All our friends were
there and so was my hubby. It didn`t take long for him and his 2 close
buddies to leave to go to their other favorite Pub. I stayed at the same
place for a couple beers, spent time with our friends, then went home.
was still a bit early, I wasn`t yet sleepy, so I put on a Movie on the
TV and surfed the internet. My hubby came home after a few hours, came into the living room, where I was at, sat on
couch, grabbed the remote, turned off my movie and started scrolling
the channels. I should have just gathered my stuff and went into the
bedroom and finished my movie there. However, I reacted, broke the
silence and said 'hey, what are
you doing? I was watching that'. He then got up and went on a yelling
drunken rage, saying the worst things you can ever imagine to me. As he was
saying these terrible things to me, I kept trying to remind myself that
he does not mean these things, he is drunk and mad......however after he
was done saying these things, I did get really sad and cried through
the night. I gathered my stuff, went into the bedroom and fell asleep
watching movies. He slept in his Man Cave. Every once in a while he
would shout out hurtful things loud enough for me to hear sporadically
through the night.
The next morning, Monday, we both ignored each other. I
did all my chores, then it was time for me to go to work. I decided to
go into his man cave, before I left the house and make a brief statement. I told him that I was
never mad at him, I left him alone as he wished, I was sorry he was so
unhappy and that I would not stand in his way of happiness. He still was
not having any of it. He still barked,
yelled and said hurtful things to me. I cried, dried my tears and went to
work for the day.
After work, I went to the Restaurant that my
hubby and I have been going to every Monday for the past couple months. I
sat alone and ordered a glass of wine. Just as my server put my wine
glass down on my table, I received a text on my phone. It was from my
Hubby, it merely said 'come home'. My eyes began to well up, but I kept
the tears in, I did not want to cry in public. I sent him a text back
saying 'I don`t want to cry any more'. He text back saying he did not
either. I text to him, ''I am at our place, I just ordered, why don`t
you come here?' He replied, 'On my way'. When he got to the place, we
both cried, hugged each other, he told me he was sorry, that he doesn`t
know why he is such a jerk at times, that he loves me and to not give up on
him. We talked things out. I told him that I was never mad, I just did
what he wished and that I was sorry if there
was any miss-understandings. We ate dinner and then went home.
don`t know how things are going to go, but I am really trying to handle
difficult situations better. I still might fail at times, but I will
continue to pick myself up and try to do better every time. I am not
going to make excuses for my hubby`s behavior, that is totally on him.
It maybe a learning experience, it may not be easy, but all I am trying
to do is react to things better, be more pleasant, be more understanding
and to keep myself healthy, mentally, physically & spiritually.