Saturday, August 20, 2016

Standing up for MYself!

 I have never done anything to Vic - the only thing I do is react to his mood towards me, his comments to me and his body language to me ----- What he does and have done to me, l do not do to him -EVER. It is really tough for me to deal with his condescending, abusive, bully ways towards me - l do not know why he hates me so....maybe it is all the times you confide to him whenever we are having marriage trouble. l don`t know why he continues to get in the mix of our marriage. l cannot say anything without some sort of commentary from him if he is in ear shot, even if l am not talking to him. There has been times we (you and me) do not talk for months because of something Vic related. He loves to put tension between us - and you allow it.
 When you guys were not talking for 6months - l never talked bad about Vic. l let you guys handle it. l never try to get in the middle of your friendship. but for some reason Vic cannot do the same for us. l try to just 'deal' with it and try to let this go......but it is wearing on me - please understand........ if I had a friend that we were around 3-4+ times a week that did this to you.....l do not think you would take it as well as l have taken it for the past 8+ years. l cannot be myself around him or say anything in fear of his negative reaction to it.
 l cannot change Vic - l cannot change you - but l need to take care of myself on this - l just don`t know if l can be around Vic any more - l don`t want to ignore his ways towards me any more and l hate when you defend him in front of him to me - it makes me feel like l do not matter -- it makes me sad, mad, angry - it is bad for us ----- l don`t know how to 'deal' with this ---- except maybe l will just not be around Vic any more --- that`s all l can come up with right now. l am going to stand up for myself from now on - to anybody - to everybody - cause l am the only one that`s going to do it.....cause contrary to others opinions.....I DO MATTER!!