Jan. 2nd 2011
I am fighting Vultures right now. My 90 year old grandma is very sick and a few so-called family Members are circling over her head with their Claws out. They have already stolen things from her house while she has been sick, they have forced her into her bank and tried to make her sign over her will, as well as many other sickening antics.
1st let me set up the story. It is sort of a long story, but I will try to break it down for you. My Grandma & Grandpa raised me ever since I was 2years Old. They are my Father`s Parents. My Mom & Dad divorced before I was 2years old. My Dad is an evil criminal and a Woman & Child abuser. My Dad was married before, had 2 boys. He left his 1st wife because she gave him 2 boys. He told my Mom if I was a born a boy that he would leave. She left anyway due to his abusive nature. My Mom had some problems, so my grandparents stepped in and took care of me. Later, my mom offered to take me back, but I decided to stay with my grandparents. My Mom would take me during the summers, she would spend every other weekend with me and she bought me braces and whatever else I needed. She did the best she could and I love and respect her for that.
I am fighting Vultures right now. My 90 year old grandma is very sick and a few so-called family Members are circling over her head with their Claws out. They have already stolen things from her house while she has been sick, they have forced her into her bank and tried to make her sign over her will, as well as many other sickening antics.
1st let me set up the story. It is sort of a long story, but I will try to break it down for you. My Grandma & Grandpa raised me ever since I was 2years Old. They are my Father`s Parents. My Mom & Dad divorced before I was 2years old. My Dad is an evil criminal and a Woman & Child abuser. My Dad was married before, had 2 boys. He left his 1st wife because she gave him 2 boys. He told my Mom if I was a born a boy that he would leave. She left anyway due to his abusive nature. My Mom had some problems, so my grandparents stepped in and took care of me. Later, my mom offered to take me back, but I decided to stay with my grandparents. My Mom would take me during the summers, she would spend every other weekend with me and she bought me braces and whatever else I needed. She did the best she could and I love and respect her for that.
My Dad re-married soon after the divorce from my mother. Luckily his Now wife had a baby Girl, however 2years after she was born, he got another Son. He was not happy, however this wife did not leave him despite the severe abuse that she & their son took.
I can write a book about the abuse & criminal activity of my father. Actually his 3 sons could write a better book. I was lucky that I was born a girl and was taken away from my father. I only know about it, I was never a victim of it, at least from my memory.
My grandparents, my father`s parents took care of me my whole life. They raised me.
Like I said earlier, My mom did what she could. I spent Every Summer with her as every other weekend. My Mom would also take care of me, buy my braces and whatever I needed with the limited income she had. My Dad who is mega rich due to his criminal ways did not spend a dime on raising me. It was all on my grandparents & Mom. My Dad would promise to give something to his parents, my Grandparents who raised me, but he broke every promise. My Dad would love to brag about his wealth. He would come around only to show off his new Corvette, Jaguar, Cadillac or Rolls Royce.
Like I said earlier, My mom did what she could. I spent Every Summer with her as every other weekend. My Mom would also take care of me, buy my braces and whatever I needed with the limited income she had. My Dad who is mega rich due to his criminal ways did not spend a dime on raising me. It was all on my grandparents & Mom. My Dad would promise to give something to his parents, my Grandparents who raised me, but he broke every promise. My Dad would love to brag about his wealth. He would come around only to show off his new Corvette, Jaguar, Cadillac or Rolls Royce.
My Grandfather & Mom died in the early 1990`s. My Grandma was Alone. She & my grandfather were married really young, back in 1935. She was 15 & he was 19 years old. They were married over 50 years. They were so in love. I Only saw them fight once and that one time was nothing. They had the best marriage. I may have had a frugal Strict life, but it was loving, Nurturing, solid and good. I was very lucky to have them in my life.
My grandmother never learned to drive. Grandpa, her husband was her life. It took her a long time to adjust being alone. We were worried about grandma for awhile. My grandmother is very strong. After awhile, she started a friendship with the other widows in the neighborhood. They would all come to grandma`s house for Coffee, Snacks & to gossip. They would take her out to church, shopping or out to eat.
Grandma used to always cook from scratch and wear old clothes, even though she had a closet full of new clothes. When Grandpa died, she pierced her ears, she started wearing her new clothes, she stopped cooking from scratch, she started buying & eating frozen food. She loved going out to restaurants with her friends.
After a few years, a lot of her widow friends started to die off, only a few remain. The ones that do still come around are getting to old to drive my grandma anywhere. My Aunt (my grandmother`s 1st born) and her Husband (my Uncle), who live close by, now drives grandma to go grocery shopping, out to eat, to the doctors, does household chores for her, cares for her or whatever needs to be done. My Aunt & Uncle have been doing this more and more as years go by ever since my Grandfather Passed. My Grandmother has 3 children, however her 1st born is the only one who stepped up to the plate and took care of grandma even though they have medical issues of their own. I guess it helps that they live close by and grandma does not like to be away from her house or far from it at all.
My Grandmother is now over 90years old. She is getting more frail. The Doctor gives her pain killers that really affect her. My grandma is losing a lot of weight and she has a low tolerance to any drug, so she gets fuzzy under medication and it scares her. She is also getting sick more. Right now at this moment she is really sick. My grandma is staying at my Aunt & Uncle`s house, they are caring for her. My Cousin (My Aunt`s Daughter) from Texas is here visiting and helping take care of grandma right now. I am going to take time off and go down there and help out & stay with grandma as well.
As time goes on I am finding out some family drama that is going on. It seems that there a few Family Members that are Vultures, hovering over Grandma with their Claws Out. Things are 'disappearing' from Grandma`s house. Mail is disappearing from Grandma`s house while she is sick & staying at Aunt & Uncles house.
The worst thing I have found out is that a few months ago when my grandmother was not so sick, My Dad, His Wife and My Other Aunt (my grandmother`s youngest born) told my grandmother that they were going to take her to lunch. Instead they took her to the bank and demanded to see grandma`s will. For some reason they think that Grandma is giving her money to other family members besides them, which is not the case, but that is what they think because they feel it 'suspicious' that my Aunt & Uncle help grandma out so much. My Grandma was very confused why they took her to the bank. They caused such a ruckus that the bank had to throw them out.
Somehow during this whole incident at the bank, They got to see her will and they somehow got their name on her account. The way we found this out is that The Bank Manager thought this was suspicious and called my Aunt & Uncle about it. My Aunt & Uncle are usually the ones who drive her everywhere, so the bank knows that they are the true care givers to grandma. It took about $25,000 to clear things up and get grandma`s account back to the way it was. I am still unclear why it took so much money to correct grandma`s bank account, but that is what they said.
I am so mad at my Dad, his wife & my Other Aunt. How dare they scare grandma like that. How dare they force her to open her Bank account. How dare they even ask about her will!!! That Money is grandma`s money, Grandpa earned that money and gave it to grandma, it is her money to do what she wants with it. She can give all her money to her dead cat that is buried in her back yard as far as I'm concerned, I am beyond pissed off!!
When the bank account got changed back in the care of grandma by my Aunt & Uncle who is caring for her, my Dad & Other Aunt was upset. My Dad was so upset that he went to visit my grandmother, but not to see her. He demanded that she write him a Check for $8000- to pay him back for some home improvement he did for her years ago. What the nerve he has!!! He just did that to so he can get money out of her, his own mother, how shame full!!
Jan. 12th 2011
Grandma is well enough 2leave the rehabilitation Center -not good 4her 2be around all that sickness @ 90yrs old.
Grandma cannot go live alone @ home with Broken Back, Alzheimer's, dementia, mixing up her medicine, etc-so we found a great place for her
the place she`s going, she gets her own apt. outside has a restaurant, kitchen that makes fresh cookies, everything is homemade & Living Room, Fireplace & Activities, they even have Wii
they make sure she gets her meds on time, they make sure she is clean, her teeth get cleaned, they keep her busy w/activities, the place smells good
in the main room all the people living there were dressed nice, active and all playing the Wi bowling. They have a Backyard with Picnic Tables, Grass & a BBQ - So when we visit her, we can BBQ for her if we wanted to -When I'm 90yrs old I wanna live there!
We are going to Slowly Move her stuff in her new Place. We know she will have a fit if she thought she was staying there. She really wants to go back home, but she cannot live alone any more. We entertained the idea of having someone move in with Grandma, but she needs a place that will give her Full Medical attention if Needed at anytime.
We also are afraid of the Vulture side of the family moving in with grandma just in an attempt to steal grandma`s house.
It will be difficult to break the news to grandma that she will not be able to live alone at home anymore.
All During this My Husband Roy, felt abandoned and Threatened me with Divorced, he Even put a Deposit on an Apartment for Himself, saying he was leaving by the 1st of Next Month!!! I was Like WTF??? I talked him into staying & try Marriage Counseling before he makes such a Rash Decision - he Agreed.
More to Come....Stay Tuned.
Jan. 25th 2011
My 13yr Old Girl Kitty Cat Kaiko is Very Sick, Might Die Soon. Roy cannot Handle taking her to the Vet because we know that the Vet will probably 'Put her Down'. She is not in Pain, we both think that it might be best to make her as comfortable as possible and let her die with the love & attention from her family.
Grandma Update: How interesting that Grandma`s Expensive earrings go missing on Friday, the same day that my Evil Vulture Grave Digging Aunt went 2go visit her......ummmmmm
Grandma just cannot have anything Expensive right now.....but no worries, My Grandma will not go Bare without Bling.....I`m gonna buy Grandma some of the Best Looking Costume Jewelery that this Avon Lady (aka: ME) can Buy!!Jan. 26th 2011
*My Evil Aunt Grand Son (who is an Attorney) Emailed me this: WHY DO YOU CONCERN YOURSELF WITH GRANDMA'S POSSESSIONS RATHER THAN HER HAPPINESS AND WELL-BEING. PERHAPS IT BEST TO FOSTER FAMILY RELATIONS OVER THE SAKE OF A $200.00 PAIR OF EARRINGS . . .
*Evil Aunt Grand Daughter Emailed Me this: I agree. A lot of people are saying things on both sides but you don't see us plastering all over Facebook the evil things we've heard. We are a family and we really should be overcoming this petty he said/ she said bullshit for the sake of Grandma Mary's health. That's the important thing isn't it? Family and health.
*My Response: Granted IF it was just 'Hear Say' I would not - BUT I KNOW 1ST HAND!! OH BOY HAPPINESS IS WHAT IM ALL ABOUT -IT IS OTHER WHO IS INTO THE POSSESSIONS....IM NOT THE GRAVE ROBBER.....I AM CHANGING HER DIAPERS & BRUSHING HER HAIR!
IT IS WAAAAY MORE THAN EARRING.....I DOUBT YOU KNOW IT ALL!
I WILL TELL THE WORLD....HELL....I WILL WRITE A BOOK!!
YESS.....HEALTH.....THATS WHAT I AM SAYING.....I AM THERE 3DAYS A WEEK IF NOT MORE.....I SEE WAAAAY MORE.....WORDS MEAN NOTHING.....ACTIONS SPEAK VOLUMES......I SEE THE ACTIONS OF ALL.......WORDS AND 'HEAR SAY' DO NOT MATTER.
Ladies & Gents, Those were the grand kids from my Evil Aunt - I am not Mad at them, they are Believing & Defending what she is telling them, I am sorry you had to be a witness to that.....now Back to Scheduled Programming!!!!
To bad that they are just 'Hearing' what is going on and Not going to visit Grandma & see for themselves.....like I do 3-4 times a week....after all, one lives closer to Grandma than I do....but Like I said.....they are just defending the 'WORDS' Of Their Grandma aka: My Evil Aunt.....I cannot get mad at them.....I would do the same......but then again....NOT.....I would go Visit & see if the Words Matched the Actions myself
Jan. 28th:
I went to see Grandma yesterday. I bought & brought her More Supplies for her room. Paper Towels, Paper Towel Holder, Menthol Gel for her Nose, Stuffed Animals to tie down Help/Nurse Strings, Calendars, Lotion, Trash Cans, Trash Bags, Shoes, Pants, Photos, Frames, Deodorant, Lip Balm, Snacks, Etc.
I finally asked her what really happened to her Earrings. Grandma admitted that she gave them to my Evil Aunt. My Grandma said she didn`t want to get hit on the head for her Earrings.
It seems that Grandma thinks someone will hurt her & Steal them. Grandma is coming up with a lot of weird fears lately. I found out that my Evil Aunt/Her Youngest daughter calls her every day and tells her Grand Stories that seem to scare Grandma.
I tried to give grandma some good looking costume Jewelry but grandma refused, stating that she might get hurt because they will 'think' her jewelry is real.
Grandma also commented that if she is paying so much for that living asst place, she might as well pay us grand kids to live with her. My Grandma also says she is scared of the strange man that comes into her room at night. That 'Strange Man' is the male Night Nurse, who checks on all the residents on a nightly bases. I had to re-assure grandma that a male or female nurse is a good thing, they are there to make sure you are okay, it is their job. Grandma is not getting these stories from us, she MUST be getting these wild scary stories from my Evil Aunt. I really want to replace the 'A' in Aunt to the Letter 'C' for this Aunt!!
Grandma`s Good Girlfriend of over 40 years has been visiting Grandma. It is so cute to see them together, they really are ornery together, I love it! However, What is sad is that my Evil Aunt has been calling Grandma`s closest Friend of 40 years and now Grandma`s friend is rude to us when ever we are around and talks highly of my Evil Aunt to grandma. It looks like my evil Aunt got her claws into my Grandma`s friend and Grandma`s Friend is Believing the 'Words' that my Evil Aunt is telling her though the Phone. *Sigh*
I am really getting tired of people believing WORDS instead of coming around and looking at everyone`s action and who is REALLY doing what. My Biggest pet-peeve is when Actions do not Match the Words!!!
Jan. 30 2011
My Good Aunt & Uncle is on top of things. In fact, they are...I forget the correct word....but I think it is Executive Guardians? The Evil Aunt already got her attorney grandson to issue papers to my good aunt & uncle trying to sue for petty things, but My Good Aunt & Uncle assures me that there is no way that the Evil Aunt can win anything. So that is why this Evil Aunt likes to talk smack, tell grandma/her mom wild stories to make grandma feel 'sorry' for her, so Grandma gives her stuff. What is sad is a few of the family members & Grandma`s best friend of over 40yrs are believing the lies that the Evil Aunt is spewing and helping her out by telling grandma stuff like that she is going home, that is cost a lot of money for her being at this asst. living place, that strange men come into her room, that she will get hit on head if she wears anything nice & other Stories that grandma Believes & making it harder for us to care for Grandma......because we have to tell & try to convince grandma that those stories are untrue.
*sigh*
*sigh*
Thank you all 4the Well Wishes. Grandma had the Blood Transfusion yesterday & is now going in to have a Colonoscopy today.
Feb. 4th 2011: Good News: Doctor said Grandma is Okay. Colonoscopy was clear. She just have some abrasions & needs to eat more Fiber. Looks like maybe the Plavix she was taking was causing the Bleeding. The Doctors took her off that Med & Now she is on the Mend!
Feb. 16th 2011: I Brought Grandma 2 White Castle Cheeseburgers, a Cold 32 oz Coors Light Beer, a Dora Table Lamp & A Big Bag full on Ensure Weight Gain Shakes. Grandma was sooo Happy. Her face lit up at the sight of the Cheeseburger & Beer, her Favorite Meal. She ate the whole Burger & Drank the whole 32oz of Beer! She looks & Acts 10years younger!! She Loves her New Friends and goes to all the functions. She Plays Cards, Bingo, watches Movies, eats Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner with her New Friends. She brags that she is Never Alone. She tells me how she pretends she is asleep while the nurses come into her room to check on her during the Night. It is so good to see grandma with a pep in her step, a smile on her face, a Giggle in her Laugh and her so full of Life. I love that feeling Grandma is Safe, Healthy & Happy!!!
March 29th 2011: I have been going to Visit my Grandma Every Tuesday. I always bring her a Cheeseburger, a Beer & Other Treats. Peeps are her Favorite Treat, so since it is Easter season, I have Been bringing her a Lot of Peeps - She Loves Them so Much, She eats 2 Packages in One sitting!!
I also bring Photos & stuff to decorate her Room. I do not try to bring to much because she always Asks why am I bring more stuff in her Room. She Says she is going home soon & she doesn`t want people to take her stuff. I reassure her that No one will take anything, that if she moves, I will take everything to her & if anyone takes anything, that is okay because I will replace it for her.
She always says things are missing from her room - but after a few minutes going through her room - I find everything & Put it back where it belongs - I think she moves them & forgets where she put things. a Few Family Members still need to be added to her Photo Wall, so Next week I will bring and put them up for her.
Sometimes she thinks she is still going to be going back home to live alone, but that unfortunately wont be the case. However the good news is that she is saying she is going home less and less. She is starting to talk about the ladies that live there and how much fun they have! They keep her Very busy there. They have Wii Bowling, Bingo, Church Services, Card Games, Movie Nights, etc. They Serve Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner in their Little Restaurant area. They also have a Patio area outside with a Grill. Now that the weather is getting better, I might try to plan a BBQ Lunch with her outside!
http://romantictorture.blogspot.com/2012/02/still-swatting-at-vultures-while.html
Update: Feb. 2012
UPDATE: Grandma in hospital again -Not good -family flying in -Picking out dress & caskets -I was supposed to Shoot 2day -trying Not 2think about it -but it`s tough.
My Grandmother Raised me - so she was like a Mother to me as well as my best friend.
Grandma having hard time breathing -doesn`t want life support -she refuses 2eat -she is trying 2stave herself -says she wants 2die.
I have full make-up on because I was going 2shoot 2day -in a Funk -just sitting here waiting 4updates -eating Combo`s snack crackers.
l should do something -but I don`t wanna do anything but go back 2bed -but l better snap out of this & be productive somehow.
All the while my Evil Aunt (my grandmother`s youngest daughter), the Vulture is hovering, I am trying to ignore it for Grandma`s sake. It will be difficult during the funeral. I know that evil Aunt will find a way to make it all about her. I can see it now, her blubbering, sobbing, hysterically crying, making a scene in a sad attempt to bring the attention and sympathy towards her.
I will post updates here in this post, so keep checking.
Tuesday Feb. 21st 2012:
I called my Cousin who was at Hospital today. My Grandmother is eating and getting up on her own! Yesterday, News of my Grandma was Very Grim -2day the News is Very Good -this is not the 1st time - Both my Grandma & Hubby share this trait!
On a Superficial Brighter Note: Making my Hubby Hot Sausage Gumbo in the Spirit of Fat Tuesday - Happy Mardi Gras!
UPDATE: Feb. 23rd 2012: My Grandmother is doing better - She is out of hospital and in nurses care at her Asst. Living Home - My Cousin from Texas flew in and is Watching Over Her right Now.
Feb. 4th 2011: Good News: Doctor said Grandma is Okay. Colonoscopy was clear. She just have some abrasions & needs to eat more Fiber. Looks like maybe the Plavix she was taking was causing the Bleeding. The Doctors took her off that Med & Now she is on the Mend!
Feb. 16th 2011: I Brought Grandma 2 White Castle Cheeseburgers, a Cold 32 oz Coors Light Beer, a Dora Table Lamp & A Big Bag full on Ensure Weight Gain Shakes. Grandma was sooo Happy. Her face lit up at the sight of the Cheeseburger & Beer, her Favorite Meal. She ate the whole Burger & Drank the whole 32oz of Beer! She looks & Acts 10years younger!! She Loves her New Friends and goes to all the functions. She Plays Cards, Bingo, watches Movies, eats Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner with her New Friends. She brags that she is Never Alone. She tells me how she pretends she is asleep while the nurses come into her room to check on her during the Night. It is so good to see grandma with a pep in her step, a smile on her face, a Giggle in her Laugh and her so full of Life. I love that feeling Grandma is Safe, Healthy & Happy!!!
March 29th 2011: I have been going to Visit my Grandma Every Tuesday. I always bring her a Cheeseburger, a Beer & Other Treats. Peeps are her Favorite Treat, so since it is Easter season, I have Been bringing her a Lot of Peeps - She Loves Them so Much, She eats 2 Packages in One sitting!!
I also bring Photos & stuff to decorate her Room. I do not try to bring to much because she always Asks why am I bring more stuff in her Room. She Says she is going home soon & she doesn`t want people to take her stuff. I reassure her that No one will take anything, that if she moves, I will take everything to her & if anyone takes anything, that is okay because I will replace it for her.
She always says things are missing from her room - but after a few minutes going through her room - I find everything & Put it back where it belongs - I think she moves them & forgets where she put things. a Few Family Members still need to be added to her Photo Wall, so Next week I will bring and put them up for her.
Sometimes she thinks she is still going to be going back home to live alone, but that unfortunately wont be the case. However the good news is that she is saying she is going home less and less. She is starting to talk about the ladies that live there and how much fun they have! They keep her Very busy there. They have Wii Bowling, Bingo, Church Services, Card Games, Movie Nights, etc. They Serve Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner in their Little Restaurant area. They also have a Patio area outside with a Grill. Now that the weather is getting better, I might try to plan a BBQ Lunch with her outside!
http://romantictorture.blogspot.com/2012/02/still-swatting-at-vultures-while.html
Update: Feb. 2012
UPDATE: Grandma in hospital again -Not good -family flying in -Picking out dress & caskets -I was supposed to Shoot 2day -trying Not 2think about it -but it`s tough.
My Grandmother Raised me - so she was like a Mother to me as well as my best friend.
Grandma having hard time breathing -doesn`t want life support -she refuses 2eat -she is trying 2stave herself -says she wants 2die.
I have full make-up on because I was going 2shoot 2day -in a Funk -just sitting here waiting 4updates -eating Combo`s snack crackers.
l should do something -but I don`t wanna do anything but go back 2bed -but l better snap out of this & be productive somehow.
All the while my Evil Aunt (my grandmother`s youngest daughter), the Vulture is hovering, I am trying to ignore it for Grandma`s sake. It will be difficult during the funeral. I know that evil Aunt will find a way to make it all about her. I can see it now, her blubbering, sobbing, hysterically crying, making a scene in a sad attempt to bring the attention and sympathy towards her.
I will post updates here in this post, so keep checking.
Tuesday Feb. 21st 2012:
I called my Cousin who was at Hospital today. My Grandmother is eating and getting up on her own! Yesterday, News of my Grandma was Very Grim -2day the News is Very Good -this is not the 1st time - Both my Grandma & Hubby share this trait!
On a Superficial Brighter Note: Making my Hubby Hot Sausage Gumbo in the Spirit of Fat Tuesday - Happy Mardi Gras!
UPDATE: Feb. 23rd 2012: My Grandmother is doing better - She is out of hospital and in nurses care at her Asst. Living Home - My Cousin from Texas flew in and is Watching Over Her right Now.
Hello Stacy, it sounds like you've been through so much in the past and in the present. Your father sounds like the sort of person I am writing about at the moment. (Making a feature film about domestic violence).
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to see if you are okay. I've followed your work for years and, going by photos alone, you always seemed so energetic, confident and full of life (I'm sure those are all accurate impressions). Lately though, I've read things where you say you are "broken" and so on. I just wanted to know that you will be alright.
A life in the Arts can be a tough thing (I know) and though I don't know you, I do know that your work has always been an inspiration to me.
I sincerely hope your Grandma is alright and that her remaining years will be happy, safe and comfortable.
Best wishes always.