Friday, January 6, 2012

a Captive in my Own Truth

I remember being a child and my Grandmother walked into my room a accused me of breaking her make-up. I was shocked. First of all I never knew she wore make-up. She would always say she never used it and it didn`t look like she did use it. I said 'Grandma, I don`t know what you are talking about, I didn`t break your make-up, I thought you didn`t use Make-up'. She said 'Yes you did, you got in my drawer in my room and broke my foundation!' When she walked away, I 1st thought to myself was, Wow, I guess she wears foundation, then my 2nd thought was, OMG, DID I GO INTO HER ROOM AND NOT REMEMBER? I started feeling Guilty even though deep down I knew I never did it. To this Day I get the same feeling when someone accusing me of something. Even though I maybe innocent, I will feel like I am guilty.

I guess that was my 1st lesson on the power of words.

Another memory of mine as a kid. My Mother had a best friend who had a little girl a year younger then me. My Mom would go visit them. I would play in the little girls room. This little girl was a bit of a spoiled brat. She had so many toys but yet she was bit of a mean bully. There were many times she would steal something from me and I would go tell my Mom & her Mom. The kids Mom would jump in and ask me if I had proof, my Mom would go on her side and ask me the same thing. I would say that i did not see it, but i know she took it, because i walked in with it, the little girl liked it, kept staring at it, I looked away and now it is gone. My Mom and the others Girl`s mom just got mad at me and told me it was not nice to be a tattle-tale. I felt a little betrayed. I do not like it when people do not believe me. This would happen often.
I even tried an experiment. I wanted to see if I could get away with the same thing. Next time I went to the little Girl`s house, I took something of hers & hid it in her room. When the little girl saw it missing, she started crying, threw a tantrum and called her Mom into her room. Her Mom & my Mom was so sympathetic to her lost item and started searching for it. It was beginning to be a big scene. I got nervous, so I acted like I was looking for it and went to the place that I hid it and shouted 'Here it is, I found it!' They all looked at me suspiciously but yet did not accuse me. The little girl kept crying and kept asking me 'we looked everywhere, why did you find it?' All I know is that I did not like that feeling at all. I could Never get away with stealing or lying, I just do not have that talent and I am glad of it!!

I also learned that I can tell the truth all I want but it just takes one lie to devalue all of my credibility.

But there are a few people in this world that can lie all they want, get caught, but explain it so well or say they had a valuable reason for lying and they still have extremely high creditability.....even over someone that hardly ever lies.

The Power of Words. The Power of how you Say or use the Words. The Power of Manipulation.
All of which I lack in. I am glad I lack in it, but yet it is frustrating at times.

One of my problems, when I do get frustrated with this, I do not handle it well. It will show itself in bad times, sometimes in public. People do not know where it comes from, but they will believe others that claim they know, when in fact that is not the case. I try to not let it get to me, but there are people out there that see this weakness in me and prey upon it. I guess it makes them look Superior, it validates their case, whatever case they want to win. I am still struggling with the correct way to handle this towards my favor.

Some People have a Talent for making people believe whatever they say, whether it is an exaggeration or even when it is a Blatant Lie.

Some People have a hard time making people believe what they say even when it is the truth.

It must be in the delivery - that is where the talent lays.

Some people believe words over actions.
Just because someone says it over and over does not make it true - however I have at times seen it to be made true; like when someones asks you over and over 'why are you mad, why are you mad' and after awhile you get mad because they keep saying that to you and then they say 'see, I told you were mad!'

I prefer to believe actions over words, however it sometimes takes longer to get your answer.

..... I guess this is all just part of the learning process of life. I need to learn how to handle it and learn what to work on and what to let go. People are just going to believe what they believe, whether it is true or not - either way I cannot let it reflect onto me - as long as I know the truth, all should be good.

No comments:

Post a Comment