1st of all - let me say - I do appreciate you and l am very grateful for you for paying our Rent, buying my food & drink when we go out and taking care of Vet bills. I respect and l am very proud of you and your Job/Career - I think you work very hard and you are great at it - you are a very valuable employee. l know you have many health issues that must weigh on you tremendously. l am very empathetic and l am here to help to my capacity.
You, many times, have brought it to my attention your disdain towards my fetish career, my role in our household, my role as your wife, my income and so on. l was a fetish model, l still am - which requires me to edit myself online, email people for shoots, be Stacy Burke, etc. l was this before l met you. l used to make a lot of money - but l slowed down the modeling, not just due to age, but l wanted it to be more of a hobby than a full time career. l do not believe l walk around like l am high and mighty - as you put it 'here l am, Stacy Burke, make way'. lt hurts me to think this of me.
Besides the fetish/internet modeling, l also work 5 days a week, l do the animal chores, l pay & do the daily grocery shopping, l pay for both our phone bills, our internet, our cable bill, our electricity, l do the cleaning, and whatever else the household needs......and l do this because l want to. l spend more than 75% of my income on our bills and household.
All l wish for is recognition and appreciation in return. But last night, yet again, you made it clear how you feel about that. lt hurts me greatly. But l know l am a good person and l do a lot - and l have the receipts to prove it. \
l do not know how you can stand to be with me - knowing how you feel about me. l have told you this many times - l want you happy - l will never stand in your way - if l disgust you so much - then you should not be with me - this is your call to make - not mine. For - l am happy with everything, my only complaint is they way you treat me and your low opinion towards me shows through - and as l say - l do not handle that well - l lash out just as hard as you lash out - l see a change in me that l do not like - l am becoming bitter, mean and recluse.
l do not know the answer to all this - but l do know things cannot get better as long as l continue to disgust you so......so....l guess it is your call.
l will try to stay out of your way as much as possible - as l think l need time to myself to re-evaluate myself and get in-tune with myself instead of being lost in a shroud of judgement.
Besides - l hate lashing out at you as well - it is not healthy and does nothing but destruct things further.l just want you to know that l do love you, l do respect you, l do appreciate you and l am sorry if l do not let that be known more often. l only wish you the best.