Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Lunatic Fridge: A story, about a Friend of Mine

Text from him late Friday Night Oct. 12th 2012: "Get ready for the 7 letters i have mailed and find me hanging in the noose in the garage. I am done and you cant hurt me anymore."

When I got that Text - I ran home frantic....wasn`t sure if it was real or not....but I did not want to under react in fear it could be true. When I got home I tried to open Garage, but he Locked me out. I started pounding on it yelling and screaming to let me in. I then ran upstairs to check if he was around.....but he was no where to be found.....so I called the police and ran back down to the garage to try to force it open. I was pounding on the garage, yelling, screaming, crying to let me in. The neighbors came out yelling at me because I was causing a disturbance late at night. All I could do was yell back, I didn`t want to say what my fear was, I did not want to embarrass him in case it was not true......but looking back, maybe I should have, I don`t know......but my neighbors are still mad at me and think I am a lunatic, because, I was acting like a lunatic.
 Finally he appeared, I do not know where he was, but he was okay. He let me into garage, all looked ok at that moment. I wish I looked up, I don`t know why I did not look up....but I didn`t......maybe it is for the best at that time If I had looked up, I would have seen that my fear was very close to coming true and maybe the cop might have arrested him, since suicide is illegal. When I looked in garage and thought all was okay, I was relieved but yet I was a bit mad and ashamed. I felt that I may have over reacted and now he and the neighbor hood hates me, thinks of me as a loose cannon and a rude unstable Bitch.

Facebook Message I sent out to my Neighbors Sunday Oct. 14th 2012:
 We want to apologize for the disturbance Friday night. We are deeply sorry for everything.
To explain it briefly; I was truly terrified that something Drastic happened in our garage, especially when I was locked out of garage.........I was frantic and called the cops. I was freaking out bad. Finally, when the garage was opened, I found out, fortunately, it was untrue.
That being said, it still does not justify the commotion. We both talked a lot, We do not want to be 'that couple'. We both love each other very much and need to put an end to the high dramatics, especially when it intrudes onto our friends, family and neighbors. We are very ashamed of ourselves. We want to let you all know that we love you very much, we are deeply sorry & we vow to not have that happen again.
We hope you accept our deepest apology.

A few replied back saying that they understood, all was forgiven and that everyone has a Bad Night sometimes.

Text I sent to my friend Monday Oct. 15th 2012: I went into my garage, to grab my bike to do errands and for some reason, I looked up. I guess he did make a noose, I see it hanging from pipe on ceiling.......he was gonna do it....but I made scene...called cops........either he decided not to do it or by me making a scene, it scared him out of it. I just saw noose now.....here I thought I was just over reacting......I dunno what to do now.....scared.

Text I sent to my other friend Monday Oct. 15th 2012: I`m very concerned for him....today, while grabbing my bike from garage, I looked up....he took my boogie board rope and made a noose from pipe on ceiling with zip ties and duck tape.....I cannot believe I did not see that when I called cops to force open our garage Friday night....dunno why I didn't think to look up after he threatened to hang himself in garage....here I thought I found nothing and I was an over reacting lunatic.....I have not told him I found this yet....it is still there.....looking at it, doubt it would work, rope looks to weak and close to ground, thank god....but still concerning......don't know how to bring it up.......he needs help.

Facebook Message I sent to my friend Wednesday Oct. 17th 2012: I wanted to give you an update...all seems good so far....I finally talked to him....confronted him about what I found in garage. He said he wont do anything and he tore it down. I told him that even if work gets better and I become the best wife in the world, it wont make his demons go away, those are his to own, Me or his job has no control on that....he said he will look into getting help. It is still very scary to me because it is out of my control....if it was just marital problem, I could work on it.....but this is so much bigger and I have no idea what can set him off......after all, this outburst was not from a fight about us.......he is very unhappy at work right now......I just hope it was something more of a 'Crying out for help' like a 'Crying Wolf' and not something he would really do.......but either way, I am encouraging him to seek help.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

my Friday night Oct. 19th 2012

on the way to Murphy`s Pub 'He' yelled at me for stopping and looking at the Halloween decorations on homes......he wasn`t in the mood to walk slow and look at things.......we got to Murphy`s, had a good time with the people there.....then walking home from Murphy`s....a guy bumped into me, then another guy yelled at me, mad l bumped into him, only because the other guy bumped me into him.....l yelled back saying sorry, didn`t mean it, l got bumped,.......then 'He' started yelling at me that l cant give him babies......so l stopped walking....'He' walked on home....l went to Jack n the Box, bought myself dinner and went home. 'He' don`t remember anything that he said to me.....thinks all okay....thinks l am just being 'weird' ......so.....that was my night.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I wish they made Adult Bloomer shorts with pockets!

I wish they made Bloomer Shorts with pockets......you know baggy shorts made out of cotton or light fabric, elastic around legs that you can balloon out, with pockets......they would be so comfy and cute.....when I was a little girl, we wore them....they need to make them for adults.....I would wear them all the time!!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Capt. America & Homeland type of Saturday

Yesterday, Saturday we went all over town trying to find the New Avenger Movie version of Capt. America Costume for Roy. They only had the cartoon, 1st movie & bad Knock off versions of it. We came home and Roy went online and ordered his Avenger Capt. America Costume he wanted....$225-!!!! WOW, He must have REALLY wanted it, lol!! - Later that night, we ended up just staying home and watching a few episodes of Homeland. We heard good things about it and want to get caught up with the episodes so we can be hooked like everyone else

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I am not the Better Person

When someone says something hurtful to me, I try to be the bigger/better person and let it go. I know it really has nothing to do with me, it has to do with them. No matter what they say to me does not define who I am. Maybe they are feeling down, out of control angry, etc and feel they need to blame someone else or bring someone down to their level to feel powerful, whatever it maybe.
 If it is coming from someone I love, I guess, I will take their negative words more to heart. Maybe they have a point, maybe I did something to warrant the criticism. I try to listen to them without getting angry and think about it and maybe make amends to help heal the problem.
 It is to easy to just get mad, get defensive, deny and say hurtful things back. That would just put me on their level. It would make me just as guilty as they are. It will make me look just as bad as them. It would discredit and devalue all of my credibility. I would be just as wrong as they are. Even if it started out as me being right, I would lose any argument by succumbing to behaving the same way. In fact I believe that is why they act so violently hurtful, they want to bring you to their level, so that you become just as wrong as they are and you look a foolish crazy out of control person and they become the victim. This works best when they push your buttons quietly without anyone seeing it and hope you make the mistake of blowing your cool in public as they act as the innocent victim. It works even better when they express their love for you in public or tell everyone how much they love you and how proud they are of you, then when you blow your top at them in public, you look like you are the most evil person in the world.
 It is also difficult when they get out of control and say many really hurtful things in private. Those words cuts like a knife. You feel worthless, lonely, sad, you feel that the world would be better off without you, you feel like a bad person. You also get angry and want to lash out back, but you know it will make things worse, so you just sit there quiet and hear all the nasty things. If it is possible to leave, that would be the best call, but sometimes, you cannot leave. You try to go into another room, turn up the TV, but sometimes nothing works, you hear all the nasty hurtful things said to you. The next day, the other person either regrets what they said, they feel sorry or they have no clue they had a fit the night before and thinks all is fine, that nothing happened. You try to accept their apology knowing they were not in their right mind, that it is their demons Not yours, you try to let it go. However, there will be a time when you will be out with that person and something ignites that memory of what was said to you and you just might lose it in front of people and no one will understand where that rage came from. You will look like a raging lunatic to all, even to the person that put that anger there in the 1st place, but even they will be clueless and end up the victim in that moment.
 Yea, as I 1st said in this post, I try to be the bigger/better person, but I am really not the better person. I fail at that. It doesn`t matter if I didn`t start the fight, it doesn`t matter if I am right. It doesn`t matter if I handle things correctly at first......because, my hurt, my anger will get the best of me, I eventually, I will succumb to becoming the lesser person.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Life and Fiction

I love to look and enjoy sunsets, sunrises, full moons, local events, etc, stuff like that.....I want someone to enjoy it as much as I do to share it with.......I wish my Husband was like that.......he will say that to others, even to me......but in reality, he is not into that......I wish I could just let that go and just enjoy it on my own.....but....it sadden`s me........I wish I had someone that really enjoys Life`s Beauty with me.............just like I guess my Husband wishes I enjoyed his love for Comic books and fiction as much as he loves it. 


l work, pay the bills, cook, clean and yet hubby complains that he wanted tacos instead of of Vodka Penne Pasta & Sausage 4Dinner - WTF?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

FREE, Local & Loving it!!

Sold my car last year & to be honest, I don`t miss it at all -being away from traffic = less stress......HOURS of more time for my Life instead of wasting away on freeway......saving money by not buying gas, repairs, registration fees, car payment, insurance, etc......spending money locally, investing in MY community, supporting the Mom & Pop stores here in town......knowing my neighbors better......Enjoying the Sights, Sounds and Local Events/Places........getting more FREE exercise by walking & biking More........if I need to go anywhere far, here where I live, we have Plenty of Options: $1.25 Passport Bus, Transit Bus, Water Taxi, Cabs, Pedi-Cabs........and if I totally HAVE to go further, I can always Rent a Car, which I do when I really need to......which is not often and still ends up being cheaper and so worth all of the above!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Real House Hubby of the Shore

My hubby, Roy is addicted to ALL the Real Housewife Reality series on Bravo -he watches it in his Man Cave and now he is watching it in front room -he is Gitty as a School Girl!!