1st
of all - let me say - I do appreciate you and l am very grateful for
you for paying our Rent, buying my food & drink when we go out and
taking care of Vet bills. I respect and l am very proud of you and your
Job/Career - I think you work very hard and you are great at it - you
are a very valuable employee. l know you have many health issues that
must weigh on you tremendously. l am very empathetic and l am here to
help to my capacity.
You,
many times, have brought it to my attention your disdain towards my
fetish career, my role in our household, my role as your wife, my income
and so on. l was a fetish model, l still am - which requires me to edit
myself online, email people for shoots, be Stacy Burke, etc. l was this
before l met you. l used to make a lot of money - but l slowed down the
modeling, not just due to age, but l wanted it to be more of a hobby
than a full time career. l do not believe l walk around like l am high
and mighty - as you put it 'here l am, Stacy Burke, make way'. lt hurts
me to think this of me.
Besides
the fetish/internet modeling, l also work 5 days a week, l do the
animal chores, l pay & do the daily grocery shopping, l pay for both
our phone bills, our internet, our cable bill, our electricity, l do
the cleaning, and whatever else the household needs......and l do this
because l want to. l spend more than 75% of my income on our bills and
household.
All
l wish for is recognition and appreciation in return. But last night,
yet again, you made it clear how you feel about that. lt hurts me
greatly. But l know l am a good person and l do a lot - and l have the
receipts to prove it. \
l
do not know how you can stand to be with me - knowing how you feel
about me. l have told you this many times - l want you happy - l will
never stand in your way - if l disgust you so much - then you should not
be with me - this is your call to make - not mine. For - l am happy
with everything, my only complaint is they way you treat me and your low
opinion towards me shows through - and as l say - l do not handle that
well - l lash out just as hard as you lash out - l see a change in me
that l do not like - l am becoming bitter, mean and recluse.
l
do not know the answer to all this - but l do know things cannot get
better as long as l continue to disgust you so......so....l guess it is
your call.
l
will try to stay out of your way as much as possible - as l think l
need time to myself to re-evaluate myself and get in-tune with myself
instead of being lost in a shroud of judgement.
Besides - l hate lashing out at you as well - it is not healthy and does nothing but destruct things further.
l
just want you to know that l do love you, l do respect you, l do
appreciate you and l am sorry if l do not let that be known more often. l
only wish you the best.
