Wednesday, March 9, 2011

8/8/03-9/25/03 - Blast from the Past - Stacy`s Diary

(Oldest Post on Bottom - Newest Post on Top)

September 25, 2003
I have never been the dating type. I would watch these TV sitcom shows, while I was growing up, where girls would go out on many dates with guys they just met. My grandparents raised me strictly; I never dated as a kid or teenager while under their roof. I never dated after l went out on my own either. I had a serious boyfriend when I graduated, a guy I knew since Jr. High. That is how I like to finally go out with a guy; I like to know him for a few years. No guy has that much patience, to get to know a girl for that long outside of High School. One of the many things I miss from High School.
I am in the modeling/acting business, so looking good &/or sexy is part of my job. I can handle that in that arena, but not in the real world. When I am not working or doing promotions, I wear no make-up, my hair is usually in a pony-tail, I wear 'comfy clothes', hats anything to make myself to 'blend in'. When driving to and from a job or audition when I need to be camera ready, I put obstacles up around me so nobody can look into my car. I absolutely hate it if I have to get gas or run an errand all dressed up. I just do not like the negative attention or any attention for that matter.
I rarely see a guy that I am attracted to, but when I do see one, I literally run the other way. I do not really like to be alone, but l am and I guess I choose to be. I want to change, but l guess l do not want it bad enough.
I liked living at the Playboy Mansion because l got to have a fabulous social life without being approached or harassed. I was invisible, l blended in with all the other blondes. I got to party, have fun with a lot of cool people without the spotlight solely on me. In a way, l was blending in. Dating is a very uncomfortable setting for me. I avoid it like the plague. I kind of wish I was not like the way I am. I wish I could flirt in the real world and learn to like dating, but I just can’t. I like going out with a group of friends, boys & girls, but not alone with a guy I barely know. I like knowing a guy for a few years and then getting to like him. I guess I am weird; it is almost impossible to meet someone with that much patience.
I guess I am just meant to grow up into one of those Old Maids with a house of cats.

Oxox, Stacy

September 18, 2003
What a week of deaths, of losing some really wonderful people! Barry White, Gregory Hines, Warren Zevon, Johnny Cash and John Ritter!!! At least I have some peace with Johnny’s death. He has been suffering for a long time and l really doubt that he could have been truly happy without his true love June, his wife, who died earlier this year. I feel a s ense of peace knowing that they are together again. Johnny Cash was the definition of Cool.
Warren Zevon, he knew he was dying & had the luxury of taking care of loose ends in preparing for his death. He seemed like really sweet and knowledgeable man.
Gregory Hines was an amazing talent and man. Even though he knew of his illness, He kept busy up until his death. He was scheduled to dance a marathon the day of he died.
John Ritter??!!! This was a shock! When I heard the news, I burst into tears. In fact I have cried all week. I don’t know why his death hit me so hard. I really think John Ritter was something really special, just something about him. At least we knew Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon & Gregory Hines was sick, so we/they/their families were somewhat prepared, but John Ritter was young & healthy (as far as he & us knew)! I loved John Ritter! He was not only funny, a good actor (sling blade, humm-umm), an amazing physical comedian, a charitable person, a happy person, but he was also a very sweet, loving, caring, human being that lit up the room with a warmth of all of those qualities! It is sad. His 5-year-old daughter had her birthday on 9/11 and now her father dies the next day? He was set to take her to her 1st day of school the day he died.
John Ritter will be greatly missed! What a tragic week, we the world
lost some really fine people this week!

oxox, Stacy

September 11, 2003
Hectic week & busy month. You would think with this entire running around and work that I have been doing lately, that I would be rolling in dough. A few months ago I went through a really bad financial set back. It put me in a bit of a financial hole. Every time I think I am getting caught up, something pulls me back several feet. Some kind of auto bill goes through my account and it makes me overdrawn and that would be the day that my checks that I mailed out goes through, before I am notified to fix it. It is almost like the bank is sabotaging me to collect their overdrawn fees.
I am also experiencing late payments from other people that makes things worse. For some reason I am getting booked on these shoots that do not pay the model until a week or so later. It is hard to payout bills on time when you are not sure when you yourself is getting paid.
Late fees due to me and me due to them are piling up big time. I know I will pull through, but try telling that to a bill collector. Somehow I am juggling all of this and skating by, but not for long if these late fees and unexpected auto-pay bills keep going through. I am so stressed. I guess it is time to clean out my garage and start selling some cool stuff that I really do not need or use on Ebay.
At least I am not the only one going through this. I am hearing the same story from friends, family and strangers passing by. I do not know if it is because 9/11 or because of some bad politics or maybe it is a little of both. All I know is I have never worked so hard and have been paid so little in my life.

Oxox, Stacy

September 4, 2003

Here is another short interview that I just did for The BDSM Doctor, enjoy!
Oxox, Stacy
1. I'm so excited that you were able to get Ge n esi s and Vesta back on
the convention path for next year. How did it all come about?
A.) I received the mass email they sent everyone that they were sad to announce that they might not have another BondConNYC. I always enjoyed their conventions. I liked having the convention on the East Coast. It gave a chance for East Coast models and producers mingle, contact and work with West Coast Models & Producers. It was great for East Coast fans to meet their favorite West Coast talent.
I always wanted to have a convention to include all fetishes. There are conventions for each different one, but that takes a lot of time and money trying to attend all of them and there are a lot of fetishes that are left out because the market might be too small to accommodate it. By having a FetishCon, all fetishes are welcomed, no matter how big or small the market is. It also accommodates people with cross fetishes.
I owed the Domain FetishCon for a while, waiting until I can make my dream possible.
When I received Vesta`s & Genesis`s email, I thought this might be my opportunity. I didn’t want it to end, they didn’t want it to end and I knew that the public didn’t want it to end, so I introduced my FetishCon idea to them and they loved it!!!
I am very excited about this! My next dream is to maybe make it a bi-coastal event, maybe even eventually have one in Middle America!
(http://www.FetishCon.com)
2. Will you be taking an active role in the planning for Fetishcon or
will your mistress of ceremony duties enough for you?
A.) I am proud to be the MC again! I hope to be as active as I can be. I love promo work, so I know I’ll do what I can on that end. I am willing to do whatever I can. However, I am new at planning and running conventions and I don’t want to screw anything up. Vesta & Genesis are excellent at planning & running conventions, I am glad they are doing it. I know FetishCon will be a major hit!
3. You're an actress, model, producer, web designer, fashion designer
and one hell of a business woman. How do you balance all those hats
without burning yourself out?
A.) That is what keeps me from getting burned out. If I have a light schedule, I get stressed out. I love having a ton of stuff to do. I need to have many projects going on at one time, I have always been that way. There is so much I want to do; I want to do it all! Life has so many opportunities and I want to taste test every single one.
4. Do you find any one of those hats more rewarding or more <> challenging than the others?
A.) Yes. Some projects takes a little longer to make it rewarding. I am not the most patient person in the world. I want everything done yesterday. I never read directions. I just want to know how to do everything without to much instruction.
I will only do things I enjoy. That is the ultimate reward. If I don’t like it, I wont do it. So if I try on a ‘hat’ and decide I don’t like it, I wont wear it.
5. I always enjoy your performances in the bondage and wrestling
Videos. What's more difficult, being tied up or being thrown around a wrestling ring? Have you even been seriously injured doing either?
A.) Wrestling is more difficult. In bondage, it is much easier. You don’t need to think about what your next move is, you don’t have to wonder what their next move is. You have no dialog. You are tied up, gagged and all you have to do is react to things around you.
Luckily, I have never been seriously injured in my work. I came close one time in a real submission-wrestling match. I bruised a rib; it felt like I broke it. I will not do one of those matches again. If I get hurt, not only would I have to pay a lot in doctor bills, but also I would lose a bunch of work. It is just not worth that.
Injuries are not worth it at all. Nobody should risk being really seriousl y hurt, no matter what kind of shoot it is. Smoke and mirrors, it all should be smoke and mirrors.
6. I really enjoyed Danger Beach. How are things progressing for
Danger Beach 2?
A.) I hope so. I just have not received any good scripts yet. I am my own worst critic. I wasn’t very happy with Danger Beach 1. It didn’t turn out how I really wanted it to, but I guess that is true with every producer. I just rather take my time with the next Danger Beach. I really want it to be as dynamic as Charlie’s Angels, but in a fetish way.
7. Do you have any other video projects in the works?
A.) Yes, I am going to start producing more of my own videos soon. I am still discussing with people, so I don’t have much more information on this right now.
8. I see that you have opened a PPV site to go along with Fetish
a-go-go and Bondage Chick. I read that you have registered over 60 domain names. Is that true?
A.) I have so much content, that I wanted to organize it and make it accessible to everybody. StacyBurke.com is my biggest site. It has everything. It has live web cams, a member’s forum, all new updated photos, video clips, out & about behind the scenes photos, flashback pix, photos of featured fetish friends, my weekly journal packed with juicy information, it is basically my life.
BondageChick.com is for people that only want the bondage, nothing else but bondage. Bondage photos, bondage video clips, other bondage chicks in bondage all updated weekly at a frugal price.
My PPV site is all of my archive photos & video clips organized in separate categories. This is for anybody that wants a specific type of fetish or glam, or for members who happened to miss the content the 1st time around up on StacyBurke.com
Yes, I own over 60 domains. I can’t help myself, I am addicted. I think of a groovy domain, I will check if it is available, if it is, then I will probably buy it. It gets expensive during renewal time, but it’s worth it.
9. So what are your long term plans and can we count on seeing lots
more Sta cy Burke as long as your still having fun?
A.) Hec, yes, I am not going anywhere! I cannot deny who I am. I am lucky enough to make a living out of just being myself and doing what I love, how cool is that?!

August 28, 2003
I did an interview for 3am Magazine (a on-line magazine), which has not been published yet. As you know, whenever I do an interview, I will always try to post it here 1st. So here it is, enjoy!
Oxox , Stacy

1. I guess first of all I'd like you to tell me where your interest in
fetish came from? Was it something you became aware of early on? I'm
also interested in whether it's something you feel was 'natural' to you or was it some thing you consciously learned and worked yourself into?
A.) Well, I don`t think I ever became aware of my 1st interest in Fetish. All I know is I found something I enjoy doing and I have been luck enough to make it a career. I have always loved putting on shows, parades, creating films and acting for my friends and family when I was a kid. I grew up on shows like Batman (which was my very 1st word), The Monkees, Speed Racer, Kimba and Underdog. I always loved the 2 parter in-peril episodes. My favorites was Speed Racer, Emergency, Underdog Starsky & Hutch and of course Batman. They had the best in-peril 2 part clif-hangers. I would fantasize about those episodes without knowing I was fantasizing. All I know is that I loved them and wanted to jump into those scenes myself.

2. What is it about the fetish stories you act out that you enjoy? What
is the appeal for you and do you think the appeal for you as a performer is different from that of a consumer?
A.) I think what I get out of doing the video/scene and what the consumer gets out of it is totally different, but at the same time very much the same. It is a form of a release for both of us. He is enjoying the finished product and I am enjoying creating it for him. I very rarely see the final product let along know what the title will be.
I have so many different personalities in me and my caree r allows me to play out all of my many different personalities while still being my true self. I get to explore myself, open my mind and enjoy the fantasy that I am creating.
3. Could you give us a rundown of the projects you have been involved
in,especially the first ones you did and then the ones you have found to be most satisfying.
A.) The ones that stand out the most are the ones that were the most challenging. My 1st shoots qualify because since they were my 1st, they were also challenging.
I was hired to be set on fire on the beaches of the South of France for the Cannes Film Festival to promote a movie. While I was doing this without any rehearsal, I was being interviewed by E! TV. For some reason I was not nervous at all. I had sooo much fun. I sit here now thinking back on it and to be honest, it was a dangerous stunt, but I would do it again in a second!

4. How much control do you have over the stories you work with? Do you
collaborate with the directors etc and the other girls, are things
scripted tightly right from the start or do stories evolve as the filming takes place? I guess I want to know how the stories end up on the film from start to finish? Do conventions of genre ensure that you can't stray too far away from a formulaic treatment, or are there opportunities for imagination and innovation? And also, is the industry itself constraining or does it give stars like yourself room to express yourself? In what way would you say you did express yourself and in what ways do you find your self-expression hampered by the demands of the industry? I guess I'm wondering whether you
see yourself as a creative artist or someone just doing a job?
A.) Most of my videos/shoots are custom ordered. A customer/fan writes a script and wants me to make their idea/fantasy come to life. I do my best to create exactly what they want. I am their Genie/Barbra Eden at that moment.
However, there are times when it is the producers script. Then I can add my own spin on it and help create and bring that character to life. I also like to create my own scenerios, which make it on the market as well. I think I am kind-of an artist. I feel anything goes. I am not too much into rules, especially when my genre is creating fun and fantasy. There should be no rules for fun, well except one and that is consent.
5. What's the best thing you've ever done? The weirdest? Funniest?
A.) The wildest thing I have done was being interviewed by John Stossel (ABC`s 20/20) and E! TV while lit on fire on the beaches of the Cannes Film Festival. I really loved doing that.
6. There are people who make a distinction between pornography and
erotica. Is this a distinction that you find useful and how would you describe the work you're doing and the stories you are telling?
A.) Well that could be a fine line depending on peoples opinions. I believe pornography involves sex, meaning actual (not simulated) penatration. Erotica is anything that is sexy, erotic, something beautiful or turns you on that makes you want to have sex but without the actual sex, no penatration. I prefer doing Fetish, which I classify as Erotica. I find that much more satisfying. Anyone can penatrate something, everyone does that in their personal life. I like the art of creating erotica, so much more to work with, so much more to create in so many different ways.
7. There are feminists who argue f or and feminists who argue against the things you do. What do you think are relevant arguments in the debate over these stories you tell? They are hugely popular but are also hugely hidden from mainstream cultural debate. Do you think this is a situation that should change, that your stories should be allowed into the 'respectable' marketplace of stories? Have you had to face hostility and how did you dealwith it?
A.) To me the word Feminist means to make your own choices, being in control of yourself, being independent self sufficant. I am that. Anyone that claims they are a feminists but condem me for my choices are hypocrites. They are trying to control my choices to suit their own rules. I feel people should be free to do what they want as long as there are of legal age, there is consent and no one is hurting anyone.
8. Fetish stories - and I think a piece of fetish clothing is a story
as well as the films you make - seem to be about power relationships. Why do you think people are drawn to these stories - do you think there are new fetish stories coming along? What future projects would you hope to be working on? What are your favourite stories/co stumes?
A.) When it comes to fetish, anything goes, there is no end. All fetish is, is something that turns you on, basically. To each person, that can be anything. As with everything, there is going to be the general favorites that you will see more of, like b ondage, pant yhose & feet.
You`ll mainly see the majority, but there are so much more out there and I see new things all the time. I do fake gun fight shoots, food fight shoots, hair washing shoots, shoe dangling shoots. Everyone is different so there are many different fetishes.
I enjoy doing all of them, it is hard to pick a favorite, but if I had to, I guess it would be playing a superheroine.
9. What do you know about your audience/fans? Are they the same people
as those who shop at your shop? Do you get feedback from any and if so
what kind?
A.) I find that my fans/audience are everyday normal people you see everywhere in your own neighborhood. You could never tell by looking at them that they are into fetish. They are very nice, curtious, sweet and some are a bit shy.
10. What motivates you to work? Is there a spiritual side to the work?
This might sound crazy but some might say that by being playful and funny and imaginative about sex you're creating a new possibility of human kind. It's better than Marxism? Or maybe is what Marx was saying! (You probably hate me now because yes, I am a little left wing politically. But i am English after all!)
A.) I am just having fun. I am so lucky to have a career that I love so much. I feel good knowing that by having fun on camera allows others to feel the same emotions that I am expressing on film.
I don`t mind the dark side of fetish, but I like to show that there is a light side and it is fun and it is okay to let loose and be silly.
11. Are there other people who you find inspiring to you, not
necessarily in the same field of work. For example, are there musicians, authors, artists that you like?
A.) I am a fan, look up to and admire David Bowie, Gwen Stephanie, Debra Harry, Lucielle Ball, Ann Margret, Charo, May West, Bettie Page and Cyndi Lauper. All these people did what they loved doing, no matter what the masses thought about them, made it cool to be different, did it successfully and opened the door for others to do the same.
12. I was talking to the performance artist Coco Fusco about the sex
industry in the third world, in Cuba and Mexico in particular and she
was finding things like men were hiring dead women in morgues for sex and things like that. Really weird and disgusting stuff. And sex tourism was on the increase and exploiting poor women. You are American - what's it like in America in the sex industry - are there problems and have you any thoughts as to why these problems are there and what could be done about it? I'm asking this as someone sympathetic to your work but clearly there are women who are having a bad time.
A.) I am pretty non-judgemental, what people do is fine as long as there is Absolute Consent. If there is no consent and it is done against their will or without their knowledge, then not only should it be illegal, but it is in-moral, in-humain and the guilty party should be punished in the fullest possible way. If you are dead, if you lack communication, if you are an animal, it is impossible to give your consent, which makes it un-just.
I am very symp athetic to women in other parts of the world. It angers me so much that others have to live in such abuse. I respect others religion & cultures, but I think people hide behind it and use it as an excuse for being inhuman. There is NO excuse, reason or justification for abuse. It is just wrong and I wish and pray that the ying & yang come into play and that all will feel and experience what they gave 100 times fold.

13. I don't know if you've read Alan Moore's 'Watchman' graphic novel,
but in it the superheroes in the story understood the sexual nature of
their costumes and their power. Do you like superheroines in peril stories particularly, do they turn you on in real life or is there a definite distinction between the work and the life in this respect? Did you read superheroine comics as a girl - if so, which did you like and did you cotton on to the sexual nature of them? Do you have a favourite
superhero/heroine?
A.) When I was a child my favorite shows were Batman (my 1st word by the way), Speed Racer and Kimba the White Lion. I always wanted to be a superhero. I wanted to save the world, still do. I would dress up put a blanket around my shoulders and pretend to fly around and save people. I think that is pretty common fantasy. I just turned it into a reality and a career.
14. The bondage work also seems related to comic book stories - were
there stories and films you read and watched that inspired this kind of story being used by you or was it something you picked up straight out of the fetish industry? For example, did you see films where Catwoman, for instance, fought with Batman and bingo, something stirred?
A.) There is a rush I feel when I see fight scenes between superheros. I want to be that person on the screen. A true superhero story has all the elements of fetish. You have in-peril, tight fancy outfits, bondage, gags, combat, submission, domination, the fight between good and evil, etc, etc.
15. Finally, who is the best person you have worked with and why?
A.) Everyone in the Fetish and B-Movie world (with a few exceptions) are the best people. I have done mainstream stuff and I had to deal with egos, back-stabbing, liars, deception, sexual harassment, judgmental, demeaning, condescending, etc.
Fetish people generally have a high respect lev el, no matter what your school, career or family origin may be.

August 21, 2003
(In the tune of American Pie) One time l went to Mexico..........
we all stayed at Coyote Cals (http://www.coyotecals.com) this hostel
in Erendira Baja Mexico. We were miles away from anything....nothing
but cliffs, dirt, rocks & mountains by the beach. If you got hurt,
you were in trouble. No phones, no communication. There was a
truanchila in our room, my friend got stung by a scorpion (arm went
numb for a bit), big weird bugs that l have never seen before, 2
people cut their foot on the rocks, one broke their toe on the rocks,
we are all sore, sunburnt & have skin scratches from the sand. We
slept, or tried to sleep in bunk beds above the bar. They lit
powerful loud fireworks all hours of the night....BOOM! The sleeping
arrangements were in a d orm room setting. I took only col d showers
because no hot water.
All in all it was fun. The girls were cool. The food was really
good. The place actually reminded me of the Kayak Kafe with a jukebox, pool table and warm moist beds above it, with no towels, no hot
water and big scary weird bugs everywhere.
The Reality PPV Women’s Wrestling gig didn’t turn out to promising. A lot of the producers promises fell through and they suffered from lack of communication in a very bad way. Producers need to know to be up front with their talent. No surprises. You need full communication at all times. Producers can get what they want if they are honest and up front. But once you become unclear, shady, uncommunicative or caught in a lie, you cast a big red flag of doubt around you and you’ll have trouble and you will not get the shot you want.
I cannot wait until the 2 movies I did come out. (Bikini-a-go-go & Bikini Car Wash 3) I think they are going to be a hit. I really enjoyed making them. I worked 12-hour days for 5 days on them. I got along with the cast and crew extremely well. I didn’t want it to end. I t was an honor to have that experience. You can see some of the other movies and project that the director Fred Olen Ray has done at: http://www.RetroMedia.org
The wardrobe lady was very beautiful and sweet. It wasn’t until the last day of the shoot that a crewmember told me who she was. She was Arnelle Simpson, OJ Simpson’s older daughter from his 1st marriage! Boy, am I glad I didn’t make any off the wall OJ jokes, that would have been bad. She was very sweet and she is so beautiful!!
It is good to be home!

oxox, Stacy

August 14, 2003
It has been a very busy and exciting week so far. I am filming 2 movies back to back. I have been working 12-hour days everyday this week. By the time I get home, I have just enough time to feed & spend a little time with my cats, check my mail, get a few hours of sleep, shower and then get back on the road to work.
I cannot wait until these movies come out. They are so funny and fun to make!! They are perfect for me. They have a funny, campy, cheesy, sexy, erotic, 1960`s, 1980`s, go-go feel to them.
Friday I have a car picking me up to drive me & the other wrestling girls to Mexico. We all will be filmed on our way to Mexico as well as on the beach for the wrestling matches. It is a new PPV Reality Women’s Wrestling Series.
It will be nice filming in Mexico. I only been to Mexico once before years ago and that was in TJ. I have never seen or been to any other Mexican Cities. I heard it is really nice. We are filming at a place called Coyote Cal`s in Ense nada.
We are scheduled to drive back on Sunday. Monday & Tuesday I have
fetish shoots in LA. On Wednesday I plan on being back in my Live Fetish Chick Chat Room here on my site from 12noon-6pm (pst time).
See you then! ;-)

OXOX, Stacy

August 8 2003
Just when things were looking as if they couldn’t get much worse personally, financially & career wise, life turns a 180 on you! I was getting discouraged and thinking of making life & career changes. I was slightly depressed because I was unsure if I wanted to change, or what I wanted to change into. I liked what I was doing, but I knew something had to happen either on its own or by my own choices. Someone told me I should check out a book called Who Moved my Cheese. They said the book was about if things are not working, it might be best to change direction.
I was looking through the paper for possible other career ideas. Then the phone rang, it was a producer wanting me for a fetish shoot. Great, awesome, y es I will be there. Then another shoot came through, then another and another. I am also awaiting confirmation and shoot details for a feature part in the new Fox TV series called The OC. My manager is working out the details of a possible Hosting gig for my own Cable TV PPV Wrestling show to be filmed in Mexico next weekend. This project might lead to many other great projects, hopefully.
Later my manager called me in for an audition. I went and they loved me! They said it was the best cold reading of the week! I not only got that movie, but also another movie by the same people! I am now the lead actress in 2 up-coming erotic comedy Cinemax Cable TV Movies!!! I start filming next week. The titles could not have been suited better for me if I produced them myself! I play Candy in the movie Bikini Car Wash 3 and Karen in the movie Bikini-a-Go-Go!!!! Great titles huh? I can’t wait, how awesome is that?
Hopefully this is a sign, if not then at least a life lesson. I learned that I cannot stray away from truly makes me happy. I will forever stick with what I know and love, through thick and thin. I cannot deny who I am.

Oxox, Stacy

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